


Captain Underpants and the Crazy Capture of Professor Poopypants

by AshleyPureHeart



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey
Genre: What if the Nobel Prize Moderator was the true villain?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-04 03:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12160569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshleyPureHeart/pseuds/AshleyPureHeart
Summary: After restoring himself back to his normal size, Professor Poopypants is kidnapped by a familiar person from his past. When Melvin tells George and Harold about this and suggests that they should have Captain Underpants help, the boys don't know if they should help one of their enemies. Will George, Harold, and Captain Underpants do the right thing?





	1. Chapter 1

Professor Poopypants finally did it! After two weeks of waiting, he turned himself back to his normal size with the help of his “assistant”, Melvin Sneedly, who had successfully recreated his Sizeirator 2000. Professor Poopypants was ready to go back to his house now, but Melvin had something to ask him before he left.

“Are you going to continue your Poopageddon, Professor Poopypants?”

“Maybe it vouldn’t be a good idea do zhat now, Melvin. We don’t want zee naked man to throw us in jail on zee spot, right? Due to zhat, I'm going to haff to think of anuzza way to get revenge on George and Harold. Zee ya, Melvin!”

“Bye, Professor P!”

When Professor Poopypants got home, he started to look inside his ice cream truck for an invention he knew would work for his new plan; the Memory Shifter 2000, a laser pointer-like invention which could alter the memories of anyone hit by it. How it worked was that first, Professor Poopypants could create a false memory, using his computer. Then, after transferring the false memory from the computer into the Memory Shifter 2000, he could zap people with the device, convincing them that the false memory was real.

The tiny professor decided to use the Memory Shifter to create a false memory of the Poopageddon. In this version, George, Harold, and Captain Underpants were responsible for stealing Melvin’s Turbo Toilet, and harmed him and Melvin during the Poopageddon. He hoped that if he used this invention on everyone in the entire city of Piqua, he could throw the boys and Captain Underpants in jail.

That night, Professor Poopypants began to create this false memory. A few hours later, Professor Poopypants heard someone knocking at his door, and went to investigate it.

When he opened the door, he saw nobody there, but he heard a familiar voice.

“Professor Poopypants, it’s been a while since I last saw you! You thought that I couldn’t get out of that situation you placed me in, but you didn’t know how smart I truly am…”

“ Vh-vho are you?” Professor Poopypants asked, while looking for the source of the voice. Before he could find the person who was speaking to him, an arrow hit him in the back and he passed out.

The next day after school, George and Harold were in their treehouse writing and illustrating their latest Captain Underpants issue. As they were finishing the last page of their comic, they saw a concerned Melvin in the backyard.

“George! Harold! You’ve got to see this!” Melvin said.

“Why would we be interested in what you're about to show us? I bet it's one of your inventions..."

George asked. “This isn't about me, it’s about Professor Poopypants! Something happened to him!”

Harold was skeptical about Melvin’s claim when he heard him mention Professor Poopypants. “George…what if this is a set-up for an evil plan Professor Poopypants has?”

“I’m not sure…”

“You guys don't understand! This could be a serious situation! Follow me, and I’ll show you!”

Melvin then took the boys to Professor Poopypants’ house. They looked inside the professor's house and ice cream truck for him, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Maybe Professor Poopypants got arrested?” Harold asked.

“That’s what I thought until I found this note!” Melvin said, holding a green sheet of paper, which read, "Laughter is the best weapon! F.J."

 

“Does this mean that-?” George asked

“Yes. It seems like someone kidnapped Professor Poopypants, and I want you to have Captain Underpants find him! Good luck!” Melvin said as he walked away.

“I don’t know what to do. Professor Poopypants is our enemy. Should we help him?” Harold asked.

“I’m not sure about this either. Maybe we should have Captain Underpants help us decide what to do about Professor Poopypants!” George said.

The boys then headed off to Jerome Horowitz Elementary School, and went to Mr. Krupp’s office.

“What are you guys doing in here? I have no time for your-“

Harold then snapped his fingers, and Mr. Krupp became Captain Underpants.

“Tra-la-laaa! Hello, sidekicks! What seems to be the problem?”

“Someone is in trouble, but it’s not who’d you expect! We’ll meet you at the treehouse to talk about it!” George said.

"Sounds like a plan!" Captain Underpants said.


	2. Chapter 2

When Professor Poopypants regained consciousness, he found himself trapped inside a cage somewhere. At first, Professor Poopypants thought George and Harold were responsible for this, until he looked around the room; wherever he was, it sure did look nice, and he assumed he was inside the home of a rich person. The tiny professor didn’t understand why someone like that would show interest in kidnapping him, and wanted to get out…but then, he heard a door open. A woman about his age walked into the room. She was wearing glasses, and a green, poofy dress with smiley faces with matching earrings, gloves, and a jester’s hat.

_Vait a minute…_ Professor Poopypants thought to himself, _Zhis woman looks like zee person who I shrunk at zee Nobel Prize ceremony!_

“Nice to see you again, Poopypants! Did you miss me?” the woman said cheerfully.

“No! I don’t vant to see you ever again! You ruined my life!”

The woman laughed. “Of course I did!” Suddenly, the woman walked towards Professor Poopypants and introduced herself in a short song: 

 

_“The power to humiliate people is a strong one!_

_Laughing at flaws is how I like to have fun!_

_I love ruining the lives of the people I pester,_

_And that’s because I’m the Fancy Jester!”_

 

Professor Poopypants was shocked to learn that the Nobel Prize moderator was a supervillain, just like he was!

“I knew it! You’re evil, and thanks to you humiliating me at zhat ceremony, I tried to get rid of laughter for several years! Recently, I tried to get rid of laughter by using a boy’s unique neurology to disable zee Hahaguffawchuckleamalauses of every single child at Jerome Horowitz Elementary School!”

The Fancy Jester then began laughing. “Wow, you must’ve not paid attention in college, because I’ve never heard about that part of the brain before!”

Professor Poopypants became mad. “ZHAT’S NO WAY TO DISRESPECT PROFESSOR PEE PEE DIARRHEASTEIN POOPYPANTS ESQUIRE, ZEE SMARTEST PERSON IN NEW SWISSLAND!” Professor Poopypants’ silly name only made the Fancy Jester laugh more.

**“STOP LAUGHING!!!”**

After a few seconds, the Fancy Jester obliged to Professor Poopypants’ request.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you why I captured you; I’m making a video about how stupid New Swisslanders are!” the Fancy Jester explained.

“I von’t let you do zhat! Most people in New Swissland are actually some of the nicest and smartest people on this planet!”

“Oh, but I believe they aren’t! I had to go there to do a little research for my video, and it’s just as ridiculous as I imagined it would be! Once I upload this video on the internet, I might convince more people to come to your country and humiliate everyone there!”

“You should zhink before zhis!" Professor Poopypants commanded. "If you make zhis video, New Swisslanders will hate zee rest of the world and fear for zheir lives! Imagine all zee things zhat might happen to New Swissland and its' citizens because of your idea to treat our country like a joke!”

“I won’t let you stop me from showing everyone the truth about your country! Come on, let’s start working on the video now!” The Fancy Jester said, unlocking the the cage Professor Poopypants was in. “Look at how handsome I made you just for this video!" she said, putting a mirror in front of Professor Poopypants’ face. Professor Poopypants was horrified by what he saw: he was wearing the same exact hairstyle he wore at the Nobel Prize Ceremony.

“Oh great, now you also want to remind me of zee moment zhat ruined my life!” Professor Poopypants growled.

“Don’t get too stressed about this, Poopypants! Follow me, and we’ll get started…” 

 

Meanwhile, at the treehouse, George and Harold were talking with Captain Underpants about the situation at hand.

“Remember when you fought Professor Poopypants? Melvin took us to Professor Poopypants' house, and we figured out that he got kidnapped!” George said.

“Sidekicks, you’re telling me that the bad guy got kidnapped? I thought you guys shrunk him!”

“We don’t know what exactly lead to this, but Melvin found this note at the door!”

“Say, sidekicks, didn’t the Professor hate laughter?” “Yes, he did!” George said.

Harold suddenly thought about something based on what Captain Underpants said and what was written on the note.

“Wait a minute! What if the person who kidnapped Professor Poopypants didn’t like how he hated laughter, and wants to hurt him for it? This situation might be the chance to finally teach the Professor the error of his ways!”

“You’re right! Maybe he can learn a lesson from us helping him out!”

“What an excellent idea, sidekicks! Let’s go help the Professor!” Captain Underpants proclaimed.

“But where could he be?” George said.

“Fear not, sidekicks! I think I know exactly where he is!”

The Captain then carried the boys and flew off to where he thought the Professor could be.

After a while, the Captain landed in front of a mansion. “Are you sure this is the right place? Because this looks like a nice place..." Harold questioned.

“Don’t be fooled by this mansion’s pleasant appearance! Evil lurks in the most unexpected places…” Captain Underpants said as he opened the front door.


End file.
